Ziggy
is my best friend and
I love her unconditionally,
and she loves me also. We like
to recreate movies we watch
together on TV. A few of our
favorites are Gone With The
Wind, Magnum Force and The Wizard
of Oz (which is her favorite).
The other day,
we recreated the scene from Rocky
I where Rocky wins the fight and
instead of yelling Adrian, I yelled
ZIGGY, ZIGGY! And she came running
meowing all the way down the steps
from upstairs jumping into my arms.
It knocked me off balance. I fell
down and hit my head on the coffee
table knocking me unconscience.
While I was out,
Ziggy dialed 911 and the paramedics
came. They had to break the front
door down because Ziggy fainted
from the shock of seeing me lying
there unconscious. After working
several minutes on me, they brought
Ziggy to. We embraced and had dinner
by candlelight with Italian music
playing in the background and then
watched a movie, Rocky II.
I opened my
eyes feeling a bit woozy and
seeing a few birdies flying
about my head. I realized that
Ziggy calling 911, the paramedics
coming over, the dinner and
the movie was nothing more than
a dream while I was unconscious.
I looked everywhere
for Ziggy. She was nowhere to be
found. I started getting very worried
after about 2 hours had passed.
Suddenly, there was a knock at the
door. It was Buster, Ziggys friend
who is a little Chiquaqua. She barked
to me to come get Ziggy because
they were drinking beer and she
got really drunk and fell down.
Just as I was getting
ready to run out the door to help
my friend, I felt someone slapping
me to come to. It was Ziggy! She
was slapping me with her paw and
gave me mouth to mouth a few times.
YUK! That's why those hairballs
were in my mouth. It was all a dream.
I hate when that happens!
Anyway, after
I took some aspirin for my headache,
I put some Italian music on
and fixed dinner. Then we watched
a movie. I think it was....
'A Beautiful Mind'.
_______________________________________________
It
was a very hot day in the Summer
of '68 and many people
passing each other downtown
were extremely and unusually
irritable. Some cars in the
street were over heated and
the traffic was unbearable.
Two strangers who
were standing on the corner and
getting ready to cross the street
started screaming at each other
and calling each other terrible
names when all of sudden, it broke
out into a fight. Several of the
bystanders tried in vain to break
it up but to no avail. The strangers
rolled out into the street and both
were hit by a bus.
They were rushed
to City Hospital with minor injuries
which were treated in the emergency
room and released. They introduced
themselves to each other and decided
to go have a beer.
After
about the 4th or 5th beer, the one
fellow invited the other to his
house for dinner and meet the wife.
They called a cab and off they went.
"Honey,"
said this husband to his wife, "I
invited a friend home for supper."
"What? Are
you crazy? The house is a mess,
I didn't go shopping, all the dishes
are dirty, and I don't feel like
cooking a fancy meal!"
"I know all
that." replied the nonchalant
husband.
"Then why
on Earth did you invite a friend
for supper?!?" said the infuriated
wife.
"Because the
poor guy's thinking about getting
married."
Then his
wife asked, "Well, how
about a nice steak, mashed
potatoes, corn and an apple
pie for dessert?"
And the husband
replied, "No thanks.
We're too tired. Let's just
eat at home."
_________________________________________
Crazy
Farmer Bledsoe
It
was a windy day in South Gizzards,
a small municipality outside
Chicken Liver, North Dakota.
It was so windy, the doors on
the barn that had been flapping
in the wind all night had fallen
off their hinges because Hagger
Bledsoe, the farmer and owner
of one of the largest farms
around that area, didn't secure
them the night before.
Some of the animals that
were in the barn that windy
night all got loose. One chicken
had crossed the road, rolled
in the mud and crossed back
again because she was a dirty
double crosser. The cow was
right behind her and crossed
the road because she wanted
to go to the mooooovies! Several
animals stayed behind because
the pig was sick. They treated
him with oinkment. The horse
was sick too so they gave
him cough stirrup. Some of
the other pigs were sitting
around the radio listening
to Swine Lake. Because the
storm was pretty bad, all
the animals that got out went
back home. The farm bull slept
though the whole night because
he was a bulldozer. The cows
Bledsoe Hagger owned must
have had a great sense of
humor because he reffered
to them as a laughing stock.
In any
case, at 5AM, the farmer
Hagger Bledsoe got up
to go to work on the farm.
As he stepped into the
kitchen, he noticed his
barn door was open. His
wife Flippy told him to
zip it up and off he went
to milk the cows. The
farmer started milking
his cow Georgette. He
was just starting to get
a good rhythm going when
a bug flew into the barn
and started circling his
head. Suddenly, the bug
flew into the cow's ear.
The farmer didn't think
much about it, until the
bug squirted out into
his bucket. It went in
one ear and out the udder.
Later
that day at the dinner table,
Hagger asked Flippy as he
was reaching for the cheese,
"What do you call cheese
that isn't yours?"
She said she didn't know and
he replied, "Nacho cheese".
"Oh yea!" She
said. "What does corn
say when it's picked?"
"Ouch! My ears!"
he replied.
Then
she hit him in the head
with a pot and they lived
happily ever after! And
so did the animals.
___________________________________
Just
A Closer Walk With Ziggy
Yesterday
morning, I got
up to find that the weather
was surprisingly cool.
This was a welcomed relief
from the heat so I grabbed
a cup of coffee and took
Ziggy for a walk. Because
the weather was in the
upper 90's for a long
time, I wouldn't allow
her to go outdoors.
As we made the first turn
to begin our walk around the
block, I saw, out of the corner
of my eye, a cute little dog
named Ginger. Ziggy and I
stopped for a moment to speak
to her and ended up inviting
her to Ziggy's 16th birthday
party coming up in November.
Saying goodbye and stepping
off to the right, there was
this open man hole in the
street and I fell in. Down
and down I fell before falling
into 5 feet of water. There
was no way of getting back
up. I saw Ziggy and Ginger
with their little heads looking
over the side. There were
2 barks from Ginger and 3
meows from Ziggy, but I couldn't
make out what they were trying
to say because of the tremendous
rush of water coming in.
I started screaming, "HELP!
HELP! I'VE FALLEN AND I CAN"T
GET UP! SOMEBODY! HELP ME!"
The time that went by
seemed like hours when all
of a sudden, a rope dropped
down 5 inches above my head.
Grabbing on to the rope, I
began my ascent until I reached
the top. As I peered over
the edge of the man hole,
there was Ziggy, Ginger, and
17 other cats and dogs from
the neighborhood with the
rope in their teeth pulling
and pulling until I was completely
on the street. I was like
a fish out of water or I should
say, a beached whale.
As I stood up, they all
started applauding their little
paws in jubilation. Some were
crying; some were laughing;
some were patting each other
on the back. Little Bubba,
a Bulldog, who was the anchor
in pulling me up, came over
and gruffed if I was alright.
In any case, I was so grateful,
that after I replaced the
lid on the manhole so no one
else would fall in, I invited
everyone over to the house
for biscotti and milk. After
all, this is the Italian section
of town.
Just as Ziggy and I were
getting ready to say goodbye
to everyone, the phone rang
and it was The Disney Company.
They were interested in our
story but because Ziggy wouldn't
get to play herself in the
movie, we had to turn down
the offer.
The birthday party in
November for Ziggy will be
a little bit larger than expected
because we not only made few
new friends that day, but
originally, no dogs were invited.
But now, and under the circumstances,
it will be the best birthday
party ever for the Ziggs!
:)
ZIGGY
