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Funny Jokes For Kids

Knock Knock... Who's there?

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Aardvark!
Aardvark who?
Aardvark a hundred miles for one of your smiles!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Aaron!
Aaron who!
Aaron on the side of caution!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Abbott!
Abbott who?
Abbott time you answered the door!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Abe!
Abe who?
Abe C D E F G H...!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Acid!
Acid who?
Acid down and be quiet!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Ada!
Ada who?
Ada burger for lunch!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Adair!
Adair who?
Adair once but I'm bald now!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Adelia!
Adelia who?
Adelia the cards and we'll play snap!

School Jokes for Kids

A history joke
How did the Vikings send secret messages?
By norse code!

A math joke
Teacher: What's 2 and 2?
Pupil: 4
Teacher: That's good.
Pupil: Good?, that's perfect!

A history joke
Why did the knight run about shouting for a tin opneder?
He had a bee in his suit of armour!

A history joke
Teacher: Who can tell me where Hadrians Wall is?
Pupil: I expect it's around Hadrian's garden miss!

A history joke
Why were the early days of history called the dark ages?
Because there were so many knights!

Teacher: Why does the statue of liberty stand in New York harbour?
Pupil: Because it can't sit down!

A history joke
What was Camelot?
A place where people parked their camels!

A history joke
Who gave the Liberty Bell to Philadelphia?
Must have been a duck family
A duck family?
Didn't you say there was a quack in it!

An ideal homework excuse
Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: I lost it fighting this kid who said you weren't the best teacher in the school

A math joke
Teacher: If 1+1=2 and 2+2=4, what is 4+4?
Pupil: That's not fair!

Doctor Jokes

Doctor Doctor I swallowed a bone.
Are you choking?
No, I really did!

Doctor, Doctor I think I need glasses
You certainly do, Sir, this is a fish and chip shop!

Doctor, Doctor my son has swallowed my pen, what should I do?
Use a pencil ‘till I get there

Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a bell?
Take these and if it doesn't help give me a ring!

Doctor, Doctor I think I'm suffering from Deja Vu!
Didn't I see you yesterday?

Doctor, Doctor I've got wind! Can you give me something?
Yes - here's a kite!

Doctor, how do I stop my nose from running?!
Stick your foot out and trip it up!

Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pack of cards.
I'll deal with you later.

Doctor, Doctor will this ointment clear up my spots?
I never make rash promises!

Doctor, Doctor I tend to flush a lot.
Don't worry it's just a chain reaction!

Doctor, doctor I keep thinking I'm a bee
Buzz off can't you see I'm busy?

Doctor these pills you gave me for BO...
What's wrong with them?
They keep slipping out from under my arms!

Doctor, Doctor everyone keeps throwing me in the garbage.
Don't talk rubbish!

Doctor, Doctor I feel like a sheep.
That's baaaaaaaaaad!

Doctor, Doctor I feel like a bee.
Well buzz off I'm busy!

Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a mosquito
Go away, sucker!

Doctor Doctor I think I'm a moth.
So why did you come around then?
Well, I saw this light at the window...!

Doctor, Doctor I keep getting pains in the eye when I drink coffee
Have you tried taking the spoon out?

Doctor, Doctor I feel like a spoon!
Well sit still and don't stir!

Tee hee to you!!! Kieto

Jokes for kids!

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