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Hilarious links if you have a sense of humor!

Would you help me look for my cat? Yes. No.

Mr. Smith, I have reviewed this case very carefully," the divorce court judge said, "and I've decided to give your wife $275 a week."

"That's very fair and more than generous, your honor," the husband said. "And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself."


A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!

Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!"

"NO," the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"

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A fellow went to the doctor who told him that he had a bad illness and only a year to live.

He decided to talk to his pastor. After the man explained his situation, he asked his Pastor if there was anything he could do.

"What you should do is go out and buy a late '70 or early '80 model Dodge Pickup," said the Pastor. "Then go get married to the ugliest woman you can find, and buy yourselves an old trailer house in the panhandle of Oklahoma."

The fellow asked, "Will this help me live longer?"

"No," said the pastor, "but it will make what time you do have seem like forever.

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A blonde walks into a shoe store, and tries on a pair of shoes. "How do they feel?" asks the sales clerk.

"Well they feel a bit tight," replies the blonde.

The assistant promptly bends down and has a look at the shoes and at the blondes feet. "Try pulling the tongue out," the clerk says.

"Well, theyth sthill feelth a bith tighth."

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