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Hilarious
links if you have a sense of humor!
Would
you help me look for my cat? Yes.
No.
Mr.
Smith, I have reviewed this case very
carefully," the divorce court judge
said, "and I've decided to give your
wife $275 a week."
"That's
very fair and more than generous, your
honor," the husband said. "And
every now and then I'll try to send
her a few bucks myself."
A
highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding
car on the freeway. Glancing at the car,
he was astounded to see that the blonde
behind the wheel was knitting!
Realizing
that she was oblivious to his flashing
lights and siren, the trooper cranked
down his window, turned on his bullhorn
and yelled, "PULL OVER!"
"NO,"
the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A
SCARF!"
A
fellow went to the doctor who told him
that he had a bad illness and only a
year to live.
He
decided to talk to his pastor. After
the man explained his situation, he
asked his Pastor if there was anything
he could do.
"What
you should do is go out and buy a late
'70 or early '80 model Dodge Pickup,"
said the Pastor. "Then go get married
to the ugliest woman you can find, and
buy yourselves an old trailer house
in the panhandle of Oklahoma."
The
fellow asked, "Will this help me
live longer?"
"No,"
said the pastor, "but it will make
what time you do have seem like forever.
A
blonde walks into a shoe store, and tries
on a pair of shoes. "How do they
feel?" asks the sales clerk.
"Well
they feel a bit tight," replies
the blonde.
The
assistant promptly bends down and has
a look at the shoes and at the blondes
feet. "Try pulling the tongue out,"
the clerk says.
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