|My attorney, Mr. Chris P.
Bacon, stood and took two steps and paused. Looking up at the Jury
slowly, he began in a calm, low, but steady voice.
"Kieto is innocent. We will prove, beyond a shadow of a doubt,
that the stories he told were mostly true. Every writer has the
God given right to embellish a bit to make the story a little more
interesting. Some of the characters of his stories are here in this
courtroom on his behalf. We will also prove the misspellings and
sentences with missed punctuations were merely and simply mistakes
and that he was a victim of lack of sleep, or stuck keys on his
computer keyboard. Finally, we prove a great injustice has been
done here today with the witnesses the Prosecution intends to call.
Thank you Ladies and Gentlemen."
your first witness Mr. Chris Coe. "I call Ziggy Cat Valentino."|
could he call my buddy to testify against me?' I thought to myself.
Sheriff's Deputy had to retrieve Ziggy from the hallway. As she entered the courtroom,
her tiny steps and that little tail moving side to side was the cutest thing I
ever saw as she walked by me and took the stand. |
After she was sworn in, Mr.
Chris Coe, asked, "Do you know the Defendant?"
She replied, "Meow."
Which means, "Yes I do."
asked, "Does he ever tell or read stories to you?"
"Meeow." Which means, "Yes he does."
ever got sick, threw up, became nauseated, dizzy, or anything like that?"
he asked Ziggy.
Ziggy tried to explain that she did get sick once, but it
wasn't the story but a
and Mr. Coe wouldn't let her finish and she cried
out in frustration, "Meeeeeeow, oooowwwww, oow!!! Which means, "It was
the tuna I tell ya!"
Prosecutor took his seat and the Judge said, "Your witness Mr. Chris P. Bacon."|
was short, sweet and simple. "Do you love your daddy?"
Ziggy replied which means, "Yup! Sho nuff! Uh huh!"
Prosecutor then brought my keyboard in as evidence. They opened it right there
in the courtroom and saw evidence of coffee stains, Ritz Cracker crumbs, wine
stains, ashes, soda stains and 47 other known food stuff in the keyboard making
it virtually impossible to type. Besides that, all the letters on my keyboard
were worn off.
evidence totally blew up in the prosecutors face as he was trying to prove there
was nothing wrong with my keyboard. People snickered to themselves.|
called about 10 people who had got sick, or, ended up in the hospital, or had
dizzy spells. They all testified that my stories left them ill, discontent, confused
and/or had to seek some type of medical attention.
The Prosecution then
rested their case and my attorney took over.
Bacon called my character witnesses who were really the characters in my Wacky
Thursday stories. Here is who they were and what they testified to.|
the Caterpillar: She told how her dreams came true when she believed in herself
enough when no one else did and she became a beautiful butterfly. She opened her
wings so everyone would see the many colors and all just sighed.|
Pete and the Three Blind Mice: He told how since his retirement, he had been
listening to his friends 'The Three Blind Mice' perform for him. They even wrote
a few top 10 hits since the story came out. He also told everyone how he had the
courts issue an Injunction against the farmer's wife who cut off their tails with
a carving knife.|
Billy Bob: He told how he found a square watermelon and how it got busted
when it went over the cliff at Miller's Quarry. At the Handy Dandy Five and Dime,
he's still known as the best storyteller of all time. |
Thillie: She told of the turkey she fed to get plump so she could kill it for
Thanksgiving, but fell it love with it and couldn't do it. The turkey still lives
with her today. Together, they make the best apple pies. They also went into the
apple pie business and live in Vermont now. |
Pete: He told how he could whistle through his nose and it sounded like a piccolo.
After touring the world performing, he quit playing for a while because while
he had a pumpkin on his head at a performance, it got stuck, and he slipped and
fell on his face embarrassing himself. Now, he just performs at rest homes and
Burly Bubba Pickle: He told of how he met his match, Pinky Pickle, at the County
Fair held in Harrietsville, North Carolina each year in July and how they got
married after they won the sandwich eating contest. They have seventeen little
pickles running around. (No! They weren't related. Just had the same name is all.)|
Fingleweed and Yolanda Bambini, who were characters in two separate stories, met
after reading one of my stories and had finally tied the knot. Fauntleroy was
a bus driver who got lost a lot and Yolanda played the piano with her feet. They
both have smelly feet and Fauntleroy loves piano music. They are living happily
of cross-examining each person witness the prosecution had on the stand individually,
with the exception of Ziggy, my attorney asked each to stand up. They did just
that. They all stood and he asked them just to affirm or deny by saying yes, or
It was found and he proved that they all had a few things in common.
is the common thread that ties all the witnesses for the Proscecution? What will
make the entire courtroom and the Jury gasp? What will become of me? Will I be
guilty? Innocent? Click continue to find out the answers to all these questions