no! Old Lady Buttermumbles is on her way up the street!
Step aside; don't stare; don't say anything. She'll
hit you with her umbrella if you do," jested
Mr. Matthews, the barber.
standing on the corner having his coffee and his usual
morning neighborhood gossip chit chat get together
with Mr Niddy, the druggist, and Mr. Wilkerson, the
owner of the neighborhood confectionary.
hear she sleeps with that umbrella", giggled
heard she uses it to cook with", chuckled Mr.
approached the three gentleman, they lowered their
heads and backed away to make room for her while Mr.
Matthews greeted her in a friendly way. "Good
morning Mrs. Buttermumbles."
she scoffed back raising her umbrella shaking it at
the three. "You see this umbrella? Now mind your
own business! All you busybodies do all day is gossip.
You're worse than a bunch of old ladies!" And
off she went leaving them in her dust.
gone on for a long time until one day, the three were
standing on that same street corner gossiping as they
usually do when Mr. Matthews observed Old Lady Buttermumbles
coming up the street in her usual fashion. Grumpy
to his gossip buddies, "I can't stand it anymore.
I'm going to ask her about that umbrella and where
she goes every day."
and Mr. Wilkerson, with surprised looks on their faces,
just wished him good luck and backed away to a safe
approached, a visibly nervous Mr. Matthews said, "Good
Morning Mrs. Buttermumbles," and then asked,
"Now, before you hit me with that umbrella, may
I ask why you carry that umbrella and where you go
in such a grumpy mood everyday?"
Old Lady Buttermumbles sarcastically replied, "Well,
MR. BARBERMAN, if you really must know, I need to
have my umbrella fixed and they're never open! There
now! Go on with your gossiping MR. NOSEY and you two
BUSYBODIES over there!"
Mr. Matthews replied, "Why, Mrs. Buttermumbles,
the umbrella repair shop is two blocks in the opposite
direction. You've been going the wrong way all these
she replied by raising her umbrella and giving him
a good whack over the head. "Well why didn't
you tell me that a long time ago? I've gotten drenched
and soaked by the rain so many times. Why I oughtta...!!!"
protecting himself from another whack over the head,
replied, "WELL! YOU NEVER ASKED ME!"
T h e r
e i s a m o r a l t o t h i s s t o r y.
carry a broken umbrella in the wrong direction, you'll
not only get wet, but people WILL talk. Ask for directions.
Don't be so grumpy. And don't gossip. It's not nice.